THE CATCH IN THE SNIB
A fellow poet once conversed with me
about opening a door, telling me
how to open a certain door
after I had given a reading
at the Cork Spring Poetry Festival.
He went to great lengths to tell me
about the catch in the snib,
an Irish Oxford poet who ought
to know the art of conversation
but I think he rather overdid it.
I suppose it was his way
of being helpful: not wanting
to be poetically helpful in terms
of my career advancement,
he told me about the catch in the snib
of the door I was about to go through,
the door of my exit from the lounge
of the Long Valley in Winthrop Street
towards the closest toilet in the pub.
At least he was expecting me to return
and not wishing me to be on my way
because I was merely on my way
to the bathroom. But boy did he go
to great lengths explaining the catch in the snib!
He could have explained to me the catch
in the snib of getting an Oxford reading
or the catch in the snib of a reading tour
in the Ivy League Colleges but instead
he explained the catch in the snib
of the door on the way to the Jakes
of the Long Valley Lounge in Cork,
and he was a Cork Poet himself
who lectured in Oxford and could
have invited me to give a reading
in Oxford University but instead
he bored me blank-faced with details
about a trick to open a rest-room door.
Perhaps it was meant as a metaphor
for my ostracised condition,
a cryptic exhortation to wise up.
And indeed, reflecting afterwards
on the intensity of his admonishments
concerning the importance of knowing
about the catch in the snib
of the door that led to the Long Valley Gents,
I came to the conclusion that
it was a coded communication
somewhat along the following lines:
You need to find a bogus mode of discourse
That deflects things. Tell it slant.
The slanter the better. Whatever you say
Say nothing. Well of course you have
to say something, but don’t be a dipstick.
The snib on the door of Oxford University
is particularly difficult. Always was.
Begin with the snib on the door that leads to the Jakes
from the Lounge of the Long Valley Pub
and work your way up from there.
COPYRIGHT © CIARAN O'DRISCOLL 2024
